The Tiny Torturous "Anxiety" Monster

I don't know how to explain or define anxiety in a proper medical term. But I know how it would feel and how it can bother one's mind. At times, I get anxiety attacks. Sometimes it will last for few hours and sometimes for days. I would feel worthless, cry a lot, stay in bed and starve. That tiny monster will whisper saying 'You are useless', 'You won't achieve anything', and 'No one likes you'. I do struggle to breathe, and can't stop crying. It is torturous. I won't feel like talking to anyone, or don't feel like going out. However, earlier this year, after suffering with anxiety attack for two days, I decided to get up and face it. So, I got ready, went to a coffee shop, and started writing down my fears and the possible ways to overcome it. Trust me, it helped. Also, I opened up to a good friend, and he suggested few things that helped me a lot. Whenever you feel like having an anxiety attack, try your best to fight it by doing the things you like. Try not to stay alone like what I did. I ended up hurting myself more. Chat or talk to someone you are close to. It will definitely help. By locking yourself in a room and crying would only hurt you more. And never do that to yourself. I also started reading more books, and that helped me to reduce anxiety. Instead of staying in my room, I spent more time at uni, and gym. Being alone is good once in awhile, but it is not advisable to be alone when you feel down. Do not be ashamed of opening up to a reliable person. You are helping yourself by opening up. Do not be afraid of what they will say or think. Someone who really loves you, will definitely be a good listener :) So, get up, fight and chase that tiny monster away! Till now, I do get anxiety attacks, but I always remind myself to fight it. It is okay to cry and let it out. But do fight it back. Everyone is worth-it and they are special to someone.

Enjoy the weekend my dear readers :) And have a beautiful night!

The power of your words!

I was never physically abused. But I was often the victim of verbal abuse. That made me into a sensitive girl, who was short-tempered and had low self-esteem. I did not know how to defend myself, and I took their words seriously. I had relatives who always looked down upon my ability and talents. I had friends who assumed I was a weak person, and old-fashioned girl. People often criticized me for my dressing sense, my body image, and my old-school personality. All I did was wear a fake smiling mask, but deep inside those criticisms were hurting me badly . Slowly, I used my plus-points as my strength, and used it to build my confidence. I also had good friends that made me feel worth-it. Well, it took me a while to realize that those who criticized and condemned my ability had their own flaws. No one is perfect. No one should be looked down because they have certain weaknesses. And, never boost your self-esteem by putting others down. After gaining that realization, I began to respect others more, appreciate their strength, and was always careful with the choice of my words. Do remember even a simple joke can hurt someone who is silently going through a tough time. Always think of their situation before giving any remarks. I'm not perfect, sometimes I do say things out of anger and frustration. But after I calm down, I do realize that I've made a huge mistake. So, nowadays I would only talk or reply once I calm down. That way, we would not hurt ourselves and others. If someone is a plus-sized person, do not make fun of them. You may never know how hard they are trying to lose weight. Instead, encourage them and share useful information about exercises, or dietary plan. If someone is weak in their studies, do not call them 'stupid' or 'good for nothing'. Instead teach them and help them. You cannot take back your words or remarks. So, be wise when you talk to someone. Always be considerate when it comes to others. Be loving and see how you can boost someone's self-esteem!

Have a beautiful night my dear readers :)

The Time when I was a Complete Mess!

At one point of our lives, we tend to be a complete mess... I was like that...A complete mess! I gave up on everything, including singing (something that I love the most), I felt worthless, I felt that I was never good enough for myself. Whenever I face a problem, I felt that God was unfair to me, and he was picking on me. Back then, I failed to realize that He was teaching me to see the bright side of those problems. I loved whining about being all alone in Australia. But today, that loneliness has made this mess into an independent woman. I have learnt to accept my loneliness, and handle things by myself. Instead of whining, I should have took some time to think about how to handle this loneliness. But whining is part of the process. I used to be upset for not having friends around me, and being away from family was another pain. I forgot to be a friend to myself. Once I started spending some quality time with myself, I started seeing things positively. I stopped being upset about not having much friends. Things were not right when I was a mess. Slowly when I began to clear that mess, better things came to me. Do not worry about being a mess. In order to be a strong and happy person, I believe that you have to be a mess! Not doing anything about it must be your only worry. I would always write down my flaws and what are the ways to fix it. Maybe you guys could try it as well. It is very helpful. Sharing with a reliable friend or loved one is also a good step. Such people will be honest about it. It is never too late to fix your mess. So, do not regret, do not worry, and start fixing up that mess :)

Hope you guys had a good weekend! And have a lovely week ahead :D

Good night readers!

B for Beauty!

B for beauty... I grew up thinking beauty is just based on your physical appearance. But beauty is beyond that. And, it took me years to realize that. Beauty is in everything. Beauty is in a homeless guy's street art. Beauty is in a baby's smile. Beauty is in a person's sincere thanks. As I assumed beauty is just looks, I failed to realize that I also have my own beauty. At the age of 24, now I know that physical beauty will fade away anytime. But a beautiful heart and personality will last forever. After realizing that, I started seeing things in a different perspective. I started to admire a tiny yellow flower's beauty. I began to compliment people when something in them seems to be beautiful. Every individual is beautiful in their own way. Never forget that, and always embrace that beauty :) When everyone starts realizing that, we would see Mother Teresa as Miss World, as she was the most beautiful woman in the world, who fed the poor and loved everyone genuinely. Do not ever call yourself 'ugly', because no one is ugly. You may have the most beautiful smile, which I may not have. B for Be yourself and you will be the most beautiful person! 

Start embracing your beauty and keep smiling :)

Have a good night and wonderful weekend readers! 

Back to writing!

It's been months since I published my journey's story. Well, I took some time off to fix myself. And, throughout that period, I realized and learnt a lot of things. Last year, when I came here, I felt like I made a huge mistake by coming here. But now, I realize that if I didn't come here, I would not be writing and sharing my life journey with you guys. My life journey became more interesting after I took this big step!
While fixing myself, I discovered my passion, my interest, and my personality. Remember, it is never too late to fix yourself. You will face lots of challenges, and troubles along the way. Just keep going! It is not easy, but at the same time, it is not impossible. I experienced it, and I'm still experiencing it. Every single day is a new challenge for me. But I take a moment to see how a small challenge can shape my personality, and my strength. Now, I'm happily on-board to write and share my journey with all of you readers :)

Glad to be back!

Good night readers :)